Drinking was a bad idea. I didn't even drink much. A couple sips. I quickly became content that my paper is unfinished, and couldn't read anything. I accomplished as much as when not drinking.

I remain absolutely exhausted, and achy from head to toe, likely from just sitting too much. I could sleep till next year. I wouldn't miss 2020 at all. I think I'm also extremely depressed. More than I've ever been in adulthood. I'm also freezing and can't stay warm. My brain is fighting compiling and coherently relaying thought. I feel like I need to do things for myself, to maintain my life and safety and sanity. I need school to be over.

~e