I'm sitting in the dark in the living room listening to a mix of low playing music and buddha kitty snuggled near me purring loudly at my presence.

Despite everything going on I got 100% on my paper, which means an A for my incomplete pandemic disrupted class, and I somehow have a 4.0 gpa still. I barely wrote that paper. It took all of my entire being to do it. I'm proud of that paper. I cried my way through it. My professor thanked me for writing it and said it's fantastic. She said she had no idea anything I write of was happening, and she was telling her husband about it too. That means so much right now. She's known me for 4 years, so she probably knows me a lot better than I intended her to.

Tonight I had class in synchronous live format. It was long and painful. I'm not so into statistics or related software. He's a fantastic professor. It's just the topic and late evening classes don't mix for me.

I don't mind the surveys parts of it.

Class drained me, and I tried to speak to my bf but he was preoccupied watching a tv show about medieval churches. So I laid down in the other room. He eventually came in and laid down and talked to me about things he'd read about while I was in class, for a bit, but I was so tired I fell asleep. When I woke up he was turned over.

Today my mom got a new care coordinator. I don't know if I wrote about details or even mentioned it. If not, the shorter version is the one she was transfered to a month ago finally called and spoke to her all of 30 minutes in a meet and greet call before deciding she isn't eligible for support services for her severe behavior health needs and disabilities because she is too intelligent and self-aware. When my mom tried explaining things that happen when people (doctors and professionals) are cruel to her, and how she shuts down and collapses, she told my mom to get over it and just push herself through it. She also told my mom that no one was going to do what she needs. Clearly this licensed counselor person is an absolute idiot, which explains the 4 failed attempts at becoming licensed listed on the state licensure board website. Her Facebook page is also filled with various 'praise Jesus' type posts and images.

Anyway, last week my new care coordinator, who was also my care coordinator 4 years ago, helped me file two complaints on her, internally and at state level. And today a new coordinator called. This new lady listened to my mom, seemed caring to my mom, is willing to be support and help her, and wants to do a full proper assessment to make sure my mom gets everything she needs and has a right to. So that's great and a relief. I really hope this works out. I can't do all of my stuff and my mom's care and being the only person she has to go to, when I have no one too. I really can't. And especially not when in grad school. I don't have enough support to do anything I'm doing. I'm running on empty. I'm painfully aware of that.

Anyway I should probably sleep or something. I'm not tired now. But it's late. My legs still really hurt and they're super itchy too because of the dry forced heat and my blood disorder. There's so much suckiness happening right now, but thank goodness for kitty snuggles.

~e