My mom is getting worse again. She can't clean her own house or prepare fluids or help with much.she refuses anyone but me helping her. I can't. Tonight she also threw a temper tantrum and kicked me out if her house when I got mad at her over it all. She doesn't allow anyone in her house. There's a mess of piles of boxes all over still. Her house is disorganized. She sits there all day and doesn't go through anything. And when I ask her to help do one small thing (warming fluids for my cat) so I don't have to...because it takes time...she doesn't.

My bf is about to stop getting her food orders too. Because she's being a total pain for that too. And isn't in any way helping to make it easier. It's like she's sabotaging things...including knowing I have a presentation tomorrow and now I'm still upset because she can't even warm fluids bags. She's incapable.

I bought this fluids stand, and it was too low. So after I finally warmed the fluids, I didn't realize it was too low til the fluids didn't flow right and randomly stopped. So I asked her to please raise it...she pulls off the fluids bag then says she can't raise it with it in her hand. So I pointed out that she didn't need to remove it in the first place, she just needed to twist the pole to unlock it...she proceeded to twist the wrong area so nothing happened. Then she got mad at me saying it wouldn't lock because she was still untwisting it. This is a stand she had set up 3 times, but suddenly has no idea how to open it. By then my cat had wrestled loose and the needle went flinging out.

She got more mad at me over that.

This is an ongoing 10 years of hell with her. She used to talk at me for 6 hours straight during midterms so I'd be too tired to study. She obviously wants me to quit school because she's doing nothing to support me. She's actively impeding me. And stressing me out...she knows I have Finals this week.

My bfs response? To also yell over it, say he hates her fucking guys, and just add to my stress.

I'm losing it. I may very well cry through whatever sort of presentation I manage to fake tomorrow. I am done. I'm dying at this point. I'm not into any of this. And I have no way to resolve it or make it better.

~e