My thyroid is helping tremendously right now because all I feel like is unable to think except for being depressed like death, which really seems incredibly appropriate and not at all confusing to be feeling considering all that is going on in the world right now.

At first I felt guilty to have any sense of enjoyment (that I am working fucking hard to try to feel), because people half way across the world are fleeing and being killed, as I am here tryin to make a pie, or listen to music. So, I feel guilty, but then I wonder if everything I feel these days is just my thyroid.

I have a week left to get accurate testing, I need bloodwork and my thyroid checked for nodules, if i can convince my Dr to do so...because medication can make nodules shrink. We have no idea what is causing this.

I want to try to grow plants, but I have nothing to do it with. It's too cold. and I don't have a greenhouse and no windows get sun in this house. So I'm not sure how this will go.

Anyway, I am really struggling greatly to think. So, I'm going to sleep...

~e