lillian m. blakey moon_window

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Sunlight on Earth

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Friday, Dec. 23, 2022 - 4:08 am


I can't sleep anymore. Everytime I try, I wake up panicking. I see Penny struggling to breathe and looking terrified before she passed out. Me, my mom, and D we're all there. We all tried to comfort her, but there was nothing we could do.

She died on Sunday around 7pm. One day after giving 2 doses of Am0xiclav. The vet didn't prescribe the right medicine. All notes say they gave me AmoxiDr0ps. Am0xiclav is more potent, and a higher dose. It killed her. She went into what is best described as anaphylactic shock.

She wasn't ready to go. She died struggling to breathe. I realize now that her peacefulness was her passing out. I'm in shock and feel guilty and devastated. I have this vague memory that my sister once laughed about her cat being allergic to the same medicines she was...she is allergic to amoxicillin like I am. I don't know if that was real, or if I'm making that up. I feel awful. We unintentionally killed Penny. We tried so hard for months to keep her alive for 2.5 months, feeding her every 3 hours, getting probiotics, mixing special foods, and she was feeling better, she was regaining her energy...and one allergic reaction and lack of vet care took her from us.

We have no emergency care on weekends or evenings. We used to.

I haven't been able to eat or sleep. I'm reading about effects of allergic reactions in cats, and feeling awful. It's everything she went through. But we had no idea until it was too late. She was just mildly lethargic and we were going to take her to the vets in the morning, until it took over her body unless than a half hour and killed her.

I'm unable to function right now. I'm seriously not okay. I don't know what to do.

My heart is devastated. She deserved so much better, and a truly peaceful end. I'm so incredibly sorry to her.


=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

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