As time goes I just miss Penny more and more. There is no easing of missing her.
I am enjoying nothing at all of what I am doing for the little interaction with people I have left. I want to not have any interaction with anyone.
2022 devastated every part of my body, heart, mind, and spirit. I'm not piecing myself back together. I don't have anything left to piece myself back together with.
I really need to retreat back to how I prefer...I have spent nearly half of my life in isolation. I need that right now.
I just think of how when i die everything i have done, created, owned, including my photos, and writings, art...will all be thrown into the trash. And my ashes will likely go into the unclaimed pile with everyone else who has no family.
That is where I am at. It's hard to feel good about myself in any way after 2022.