I can't sleep. Even though my periods have stopped I feel like I have PMS every day now. Pregnancy tests are still negative, and I'm just feeling really grumpy. And if I don't take my thyroid meds I can't stay awake through the day.

I have felt like cleaning a lot lately, and I've got old things I'm throwing away. I want to do more, but I'm not physically capable. I'm excited though. Things are slowly getting done.

I bought grow lights and a metal shelf, and I planted a bunch of seeds on St Patrick's Day. So far only Thai basil, lettuce, and peas have sprouted. But it's exciting. We don't have any sunny windows, which really sucks. So badly that D plans to add skylights to the house and southern windows to two rooms someday, and add a dining room that would have south facing windows and skylights, expand the kitchen into the dining area which we've already mostly done, and add a bay kitchen window to catch more sunlight into the afternoon. We are just craving sunlight. But for now, it seems these grow lights might work to grow things with the 5 month growing season here. Unfortunately for all of this he'd need money and he's still paying off the mortgage and the loan for the roof 2 years ago.

I have a lot on my mind.

I also want to sew things. I have things I need to sew. But my room is a bit of a disorganized mess. So I need to figure that out too. I want to switch rooms again. This will be the third time. D is a bit annoyed. Oh well. I can't make my room work. And I hate facing the street out front. The rooms only got painted because I had wanted them for my room. Maybe this final room will finally get painted now. Unfortunately the roof leak badly damaged the ceiling in that room though. So we need to figure that out.

I want it to be warm but it keeps raining and snowing. I like the rain, but it makes the yard muddy.

I'm quitting my committee in June. When they appoint a new chair. I'm asking to not be renewed and am stepping down. And then resigning. I feel done.

Anyway, I'm kind of excited to know it will be warm soon.

I don't have much else to be excited over right now.

I planted an entire tray of pansies and violas. I hope they sprout. And I hope we get lilacs blooming this year.

~e