lillian m. blakey moon_window




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Sunlight on Earth

� Copyright 2006-2021
Tuesday, May. 10, 2022 - 9:03 pm

=*=


Today has been a really hard day.

Today I had to work on committee stuff, with absolutely no energy. And then when I went to talk to our committee liaison, he very abruptly, towards the end of our conversation informed me that he had submitted his resignation. This was literally within a half hour of finding out a person I consider one of my dearest friends if she ever called me or hung out, had been terminated from her job without any sort of signs or warning that that was going to happen. So I was already reeling from that abrupt change, when he told me this.

On top of that the city is making in-person meetings mandatory. We are petitioning to meet online, but they can potentially say no, and if so that is the end of our committee meeting at all, as we cannot risk it. The numbers are rising right now. We are still in an emergency declaration, federally, state-wide, and even within the city.

So with everything already happening, and the fact that I was already losing it last week, I feel nauseated.

I feel like I just need to sleep and not be attached to reality anymore.

I'm actively counting down my 90 days to seeing a endo dr. And trying to figure out what to do to get care in the meantime.

I buy things on ebay and etsy when i get upset. A french blue vase and a a green typewriter keychain that says on the paper: "write what should not be forgotten".

I want to be outside but the smoke is so bad we can't even open the windows. So far the most I've been able to is throw some flower seeds into the existing garden beds. hoping that they'll somehow grow and bloom despite the dry weather.

it's somehow giving me a small bit of hope in all the illness.

I'm picking at the smallest things to keep me going right now.

It's all I've got. that, a buddha kitty who is determined to snuggle nearby, but not too close.

~e

=*= one day i'll fly away =*=

most recent entries:

what should not be forgotten - Tuesday, May. 10, 2022

cancelled - Monday, May. 09, 2022

boundaries - Wednesday, May. 04, 2022

Round and round and round - Sunday, May. 01, 2022

drifting, falling, floating, weightless, calling, calling home... - Thursday, Apr. 14, 2022